October 14, 2002 - McLeod Ganj, Dharamsala, India.

India is more noisy, more polluted and more populated than I remember. I find myself asking the question, "Why am I here?" I recall asking myself the same question nearly 20 years ago.

I'm not sure of the answer to the question. As I ask it, it feels almost irrelevant.

Something has been coming up for me over the past months, particularly since I started travelling.

It feels like a shift in my focus. I'm not here 'for myself' so much. Who or what I am here for I don't really know. It doesn't seem to matter.

I'm still selfish and self-orientated, but something has changed, and it feels very different.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, before I left Toronto, I had thought about India as being a place where, amongst other things, I might meet 'spiritual' people, where something could be 'gotten' from them.

This really doesn't seem to be the case. I wonder, now, what could I 'get' from them? I've already gotten so much from my life, from Paul Lowe and others.

I'm noticing that I'm more available to whatever the present moment wants from me, rather than looking for what the present moment can give to me.

I'm travelling for six months. I may not be able to update this page as often as I'd like, and my responses to your emails could be a little delayed, but I will do my best!