June 6, 2002, Toronto.

I don't know whether it's because Spring is in the air, but I'm noticing that 'sex' is up for many people.

Recently my partner and I went to see David Deida* give a talk here in Toronto. The evening was called "Finding God through sex". I had never seen David before, but his name had come up a couple of times and something attracted me. It's a good title!

It was a very powerful evening. David deals head-on with issues of being a man in this world, of being a woman in this world. Or, more specifically, the issue of male energy and female energy.

I've been taking a look at the nature of my energy, my essential Self, and the flow of this energy in my relationship. Whether I call this energy female or male, or a mixture of both, or by a completely different name, I can ask myself: "Am I doing things or making choices contrary to that essential self? Have I covered up this energy, thinking it was better, or safer to be another way? Or am I responding to life from the true inclination and character of my heart?"

I've noticed that if we try to be more honest and not 'dump' our emotions on each other, we run the risk of becoming a bit fuzzy around the edges. Wishy-washy. In the attempt to be more loving with each other it's possible to lose our clarity, our creativity, our zest, our direction. We become 'nice'. Being nice isn't very sexy.

I'm not suggesting that dishonesty or shouting at each other is sexy. What is sexy - in anyone, male or female - is being in-touch with your energy, whether it's a chaotic creativity, flowering in each moment, or the scalpel sharpness of a directed path, or some of both: or whatever is the individual, unique expression of your Self.

We have been told that we are all 'One'. I sense the truth of this and I also suggest that being all One doesn't mean we are a homogenous, bland soup, where flavours have no definition or character.

I feel the life, the unique spark in each and everything: when I smell the Lilacs blossoming on our street, when I press my hand against the corrugated bark of a Maple tree, when I melt in the eyes of my lover, and the world is alive, sexy and very attractive.

*www.deida.com