Dear Sandra,
I've had this 'feeling' the past few days, a sense that
'something' is just a bit off. I got some difficult feedback
at work, and it seems to have triggered something for me.
Although I dealt with this well in the moment, and the actual
issue is now over, I still feel as if my world isn't really
safe anymore. I feel anxious and tense. I'd like your advice
on what to do.
S.A.
Dear S.A.,
There are times where I feel the same thing - as if something
is a bit askew. Sometimes there seems to be a trigger, as
in your case, and sometimes there is no 'good' reason for
the shift in my perspective. Side by side with this askew
feeling, I usually have this sense that nothing is actually
different. But it feels different. It's easy to react to
the feeling and get lost in it, thinking that this is all
there is - this askew place.
My sense of this experience is that the earth is always
there, love is always there, always supporting, and then
this 'thing' happens, some kind of frazzled energy that
creates a bit of havoc. Instead of simply having my feet
planted on the earth, feeling its love, and being
aware of the havoc, I just go to the havoc and think that's
it, that there is nothing else, no support, no earth, no
love.
This is what my 'nothing is different' feeling is about
- the ground is actually still beneath my feet. Me losing
touch with this is what feels different'
Many of us have an unconscious fear that the ground will
in fact fall out from underneath, that all the love, all
the support can simply evaporate.
We are, literally, responsible for this 'evaporation' -
it happens whenever we disconnect from our Self, whenever
we get lost in the drama of reaction.
When I'm off balance in the way you describe, I try to
take it as a possibility that every experience is for us
- one way or another, even if it doesn't always feel so
great. Perhaps the opportunity is to take a look at how
dependent my sense of self is on doing things 'right'. Perhaps
it's time to take the pressure off and to not take things
too seriously!
Sandra
Dear Sandra,
How do we know that everything is 'for' us? Everything,
really everything? And I also wonder if this 'mantra' is
just a way to avoid unpleasant feelings?
I realize I really would like it to be 'true' that everything
is always for us. I understand it may be more interesting
to least consider the possibility, when the occasion (need?)
arises, but do you know that everything is for us?
S.A.
Dear S.A.,
I do not know if everything is 'for' us.
However, each and every time I take this point of view
as a possibility, even when I am feeling really unpleasant
feelings (especially then!), something opens up inside me.
Is this a way of avoiding those unpleasant feelings? I
actually become more aware of the feelings, painful or otherwise.
However, because I'm not fighting the feelings my experience
shifts to include my full Self, the present moment and whatever
else is going on.
I'm able to be with myself and the situation in a way that
is totally inclusive and loving.
It's also my experience that whatever might be behind the
painful feelings has a chance to heal in this loving presence.
If I take an experience as being 'against' me, I turn myself
into a victim, someone not responsible for my feelings.
I become filled with a fighting, righteous defensiveness.
Assuming something is against me comes from a place of not
wanting to deal with what is going on - a place of not wanting
to feel what I'm feeling.
Taking it as a possibility that every experience has something
to offer me is not the same as saying "this was meant
to happen," or "this is a good thing". It
is simply an approach to life that encourages maximum potential
and movement. It also makes it more fun!
Sandra
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