Dear Sandra,

In many so-called spiritual groups I notice a continual preoccupation with the mind, more specifically, a preoccupation with not 'identifying' with the mind, or a vaguely pejorative attitude toward it.

To me, the mind is not a bad thing. In fact it's quite an ally - it helps me make sure my socks match, and that I know which key to use to open my front door, and how to judge the value of this tea or that tea, the value and moral integrity of this human or that one (Osama or the Dalai Lama, for example).

I also believe my mind bridges my body with my soul, or envelopes them in a way that brings consciousness to this being (or it does both!), and a consequence of this is a psychological shadow, a fearful awareness of the basic fact that there is no security in life. I find the more I accept my mind as such and its paranoiac meanderings, the less I frazzle my soul over it.

I'd like to know your opinion.

K.

Dear K.,

What we 'think' affects our experience. I believe it literally creates our experience. If we have habitually negative thought patterns, our experience will be negative. People who choose to take a look at themselves and their lives will sooner or later pay attention to their thoughts, to their 'mind'.

You write that the more you accept your mind's paranoiac meanderings the less you "frazzle your soul over it."

For me the process is slightly different. The more I'm totally 'with' the present moment, the more my mind is simply there, doing what it does best (matching my socks, sending messages to my fingers to press the right keys...). I don't need to accept or deny my mind; it's there, an integral part of me. If I accept or deny it then I'm telling myself it is separate from who I am - that it's something 'out there'.

The issue is not so much the thoughts we have, but what we - our ego - does with them. Do I take whatever my mind says as being the 'truth'? "I'm unlovable," for example, or "it's all awful."

The mind is very clever. It doesn't just come up with these kinds of thoughts out of the blue. It bases them on past experience. If someone shouts at me I often feel frightened, that I'm in danger. When I was a child this kind of behaviour was terrifying and I was potentially in danger.

As I sink more and more into the now, I become more deeply connected with Self, my "soul", if you will. From this connected place, if something happens which my mind labels 'terrifying' because my heart is beating fast and my muscles are tense, I have an opportunity to check into what is actually going on rather than reacting from this place of "it's terrifying and I'm in danger". Usually what happens is I see I'm safe and even if I still have the physical symptoms of fear, I don't have to react out of fear - I don't have to run away or shout back.

My mind participates in this process of course. More and more it's there to totally support this sinking into the now, being softly quiet unless something needs to be done.

One 'technique' to support this sinking into the now and to bring my attention to what is really happening is to ask myself "is this true?" whenever an opinion or judgement pops up in my thoughts. "I'm never going to get this project finished," for example. I ask myself, "do I know this to be true?" Well, it might be true, but in the moment I do not know. In the moment, I'm simply feeling overwhelmed or insecure. By acknowledging these feelings, I'm less controlled by them, and less likely to get all tangled up in a state where the mind layers thought upon thought… "well, if I don't get it finished, I'll get fired… if I get fired everyone will think I'm stupid…" and so on!